Couple weeks ago, as an event filled day was coming to an end, my 5 year old son Luka caught my attention as I walked through the living room. “Dad, come look at this sunset.” He quickly ushered me out to the front door, onto the porch. “Look how pretty it is!” And it really was a remarkable sunset. I said “Yeah buddy, it’s beautiful this evening.” We went back inside. To be honest I was having a stressful evening. One of too many, I suppose.

But Luka wasn’t done. Maybe 10 minutes later I was walking back through the same way, and as he peered out the living room window he raised his voice “DAD! Come look at it now!”

Out the front door we went.

We stood on the porch in the same spot, but the sunset had taken on an even more spectacular set of colors, sunlight behind the puffy clouds made for an even more distinct lining, and in some places the light peaked around and broke through making rays of light shooting across the evening sky.

More attentive this time, I said “Wow, that’s awesome. You know, God made that.” Luka quickly took his eyes off the sunset, whipped his head around to me, and replied “HOW?” Smiling back, I said “Well I don’t know, but He does it every night whether we notice it or not.” Looking back at the sunset Luka said with intensity “Thank you God!” Then he pulled his hands up to his chest and said “And thank you God for making us, so we can see it!”

It was such a heartfelt moment from a curious little boy, in awe of God’s creation and expressing genuine gratitude to Him. And I would have missed it, fretting over something or someone’s opinion that likely either doesn’t matter or I can’t change.

I’m glad he called me out there to look at that sunset a second time. I needed to be reminded of who is in control. I need to be reminded often.

What’s got you stressed right now? Have you looked to God? Maybe take a second look.

Thanks for letting me share. Y’all keep looking up!

[📸: by Jody Garner, same sunset as discussed, but from a different spot]

My wife’s Pawpaw use to say “What makes a good carpenter, is being able to cover his own mistakes.” Pawpaw would know, he was an excellent carpenter.

Being a devout Christian, there’s something else Pawpaw knew — unlike carpentry, your sins are something you can’t cover yourself. You and I need the blood of Jesus for that. Matter of fact a lot of the deep messes we find ourselves in have to do us trying to cover up, drown out, numb, and run from our own sins. We can’t do it and we don’t have to. Jesus says “Come to me…I’ll give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)

What makes a good Carpenter is being able to cover his own mistakes. What makes a good Christian is knowing that he can’t. Bring it to Jesus, friend.

Parenting has become uniquely challenging, partly because we have become uniquely selfish. Our day and age conditions us to think about self-fulfillment, self-esteem, and self-promotion. Our kids don’t exist for us. And we don’t exist for our kids. We all exist for God. We’re made to know Him and make Him known. Parenting is one avenue for that to happen.

Part of the reason parenting can hurt so bad is because God sometimes uses our kids to sanctify us and make us more dependent on Him. That’s the reason for a lot of our challenges. But we miss all that when we think everything exists for our glory, when it actually exists for God’s. Parenting and really all of life is always gonna frustrate us as long we think we’re the most important thing in the Universe, and failing to seek the one who made the Universe.

Real talk — God didn’t give you little Billy and Susie to make you feel like a winner when they’re good at stuff, but rather to give you an opportunity to point them to Jesus and help them follow Him, AND at the same time, drive you to your knees in dependance on Him because parenting isn’t something you can do unless you’re first being parented by The Father.

Sharing Christ with our kids, that’s the only real win.

Here’s a plot twist we seldom see coming — living for / parenting for His glory? Is where we’ll actually find our ultimate fulfillment. When we aim for His glory, our joy get’s thrown in.

whatever you do (including parenting), do all to the glory of God. – 1 Cor 10:31

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” Augustine

Not long after he killed Goliath, David lost just about everything — his job, his wife, his best friend, his mentor, even his dignity. With no one and no place to go, he ended up in a cave. But the cave that looked like death turned out to be a place of resurrection (that part sound familiar btw? 🤔✝️). It was there in the cave that David found out he had more family and friends than he thought.

David…escaped to the cave of Adullam. And when his brothers and all his father’s house heard it, they went down there to him. And everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was bitter in soul, gathered to him. And he became commander over them. And there were with him about four hundred men. – 1 Samuel 22:1-2

God hadn’t forgotten David. He could see him, even in his darkest moment. And God saw fit for some people to show up. Not Saul’s people from his palace, but David’s people from the pasture — His dad and brothers — shepherds, like David. And then a bunch of other people came that were beat down and rejected just like David. David had some Freinds in Low Places. Good folks to have. This group might not look like much, but they got each other. All of them could say “Oh I’ve been there, David. Now I’m here for you.” An old Tracy Lawrence song comes to mind: ‘You Find Out Who Your Friends Are.’ Look it up. Good song. Remember, no matter where you are God can still get to you. He sees you. He has a plan. He may very well be rallying some troops to send to you right now.

One more thing — We don’t see anything in the story indicating David sent for his family or his friends in low places to come. They just showed up. We need to follow their lead. Sometimes we’re too hesitant to go to hurting people. We think we don’t wanna bother them, or get in the way, or we assume someone who is better at that kinda thing is gonna do it. But there’s too many people hurting for us not to be there for everyone that we can! We can’t wait till they ask. Lots of times people that are hurting are in such a dark place they don’t even know how to ask. That little nudge that you and I feel to reach out to someone going through a hard time? That’s very likely the Holy Spirit prompting us, and we want to follow His lead, above all else.

This ragamuffin group that joined Dave in the cave? They would become “David’s Mighty Men.” This dark place was the start of something great. The hard stuff helped David relate to others and others related to him. Their shared community of hurt became a training ground for God’s glory. God still does stuff like that!

Y’all keep lookin up!

With all the changes in The Whitehouse lately, it’s good time to remember that all of it won’t make a hill of beans compared to the changes God can make in OUR OWN HOUSE. Following is a list of 9 things the Lord can produce in us, making us recognizably different — more faithful to Him, and more faithful to our loved ones. Parents, our kids will no doubt recognize these changes and benefit greatly! Married people, our marriages can’t thrive without these!

1. love
2. joy
3. peace
4. patience
5. kindness
6. goodness
7. faithfulness
8. gentleness
9. self-control

*See Galatians 5:22-23

“He was the kind of person you lived around, not with”
A quote from a fictional book that really struck me. Especially the words “Lived around.” What a terrible place to be.
“Lived around” people are relationally avoided. People walk on eggshells around them, keep their guard up, measure their words carefully, limit their time spent, and don’t share too much. “Lived around” people still have interactions with others, just none with any deapth. They can’t be trusted or counted on because they’ve been deemed cranky, judgemental, self-righteous, graceless, void of empathy, and lacking compassion.
Sadly, many times “lived around” people are proud of how right they are about things, and are oblivious to the growing distance others are keeping from them. And no one is gonna tell them “Hey I’m not gonna be vulnerable with you anymore because you’re a jerk” because they don’t think it will help. They just “live around” them.
I wonder how many of us have people “living around” us at some level? It can be a spouse, coworkers, friends…Kids, especially teenagers, can resort to “living around” hypercritical parents. Tragic.
We can avoid being lived around by having the Lord work in our life — living by grace, showing kindness, getting over ourselves and beginning to lighten up.
Don’t let “lived around” be said of us, friends.

🎄✝️ Joseph in the Christmas story was a stand in dad. He was a dad that he didn’t have to be. He wasn’t too scared or insecure to step into a tough situation for the glory of God and the good of Mary and baby Jesus. His reputation wasn’t as important to him as the people he was providing for and protecting. He was faithful to God and faithful to his family, even beyond his biological family. 

I have an evergrowing respect for stepdads (and stepmoms) and others who are standing in, in hard places, going above and beyond for the good of kids and families. It’s a Joseph-like thing to do. More importantly, it’s a godly thing to do. Psalm 68:5 says God is a father to the fatherless. We may not stand in at the capacity that Joseph did, but we all have opportunities around us to exceed the very low expectations of fatherhood that our world has for dads. We can go above and beyond for our kids and others — being the dad we don’t have to be, but get to be.

The other day I saw on instagram where Colorado Coach Deion Sanders had stood in for a player’s dad who is in prison, and walked him across the field for senior day for the Colorado Buffaloes. Deion said the young man asked him to walk with him and he replied “You don’t have to ask me twice. I got you.” I had the thought — we need to be the kind of men that young people feel comfortable asking us to fill dad-like roles for them when they need it. They need to know that we’ll say “You don’t have to aske me twice. I got you.”

The angel didn’t have to tell Joseph twice (Matthew 1:20-24). He stepped up in a big way. And in doing so he go to be a part of the greatest story in all of history. He was a stand in dad for the Savior of the world. Pretty amazing. And it all started with faithfulness, some courage, and simple obedience. 

I’m also gonna add a link to an old cheesy Country song about a dad that didn’t have to be. You’re welcome 😎😂 https://youtu.be/BjO1F6oCab8

🌖 I wanted to point something out about the eclipse before we get too far down the road from it. The day after it happened, I heard several people, including guys on Sports Talk Radio, say they became emotional while viewing the eclipse. People said it was moving and some even shed tears. Why do you think that is? It’s because the Universe put us in awe, and for a short time we felt small, in a good way. We are small. Creation is bigger. The Creator is wayyy bigger.

In Psalm 139 David gazed at the moon and stars and basically said “Who am I that you should think of me, Lord?” He was feeling small and just expressed genuine heartfelt humility. That’s what happened to many of us last Monday with the eclipse.

Here’s the thing though, even though something as remarkable as the recent eclipse is rare, the wonders of creation are not. Sunrises, sunsets, storms, sweet little babies, and scores of other beautiful things are around us all the time, and we seldom stop and notice. Why? We’re busy, hurried, distracted, looking at little screens. And what’s the result? We don’t feel small. We feel big. We feel like we’re in control. And that’s making us happy, right? NOT 😆. It makes worried, anxious, and depressed.

God made us with a need to be small. He’s got the job of being big, and He’s great at it.

Guys, I’m not saying more eclipses are the answer to all our problems 😅 I’m saying that being in awe of God is! And you and I don’t need to wait for an eclipse or a sunset to be in awe of God. We can set our minds on the cross and just think “Who am I that you’d love me so much? But you do, Lord.” And there we are. Small. Small in the best possible way. Quieted. Peaceful. Maybe emotional. Definitely confident. Definitely thankful. A lot of stuff we are trying to gain by tryin to be big, are ours if we’ll behold the Lord and go ahead and be small.

That’s all for now. Thanks for letting me share. 🙂

Dad, give her wings! 

🥹 The father, daughter dance is one of the most beautiful moments in a wedding. But for the dads in the room it’s terrifying 😆 I took this picture from my table at Ainsley and Barron Truelock’s wedding last Sunday. Ainsley’s the daughter of longtime friends Jon and LeiAnn Stovall. Jon serves as an elder at Grace Bible and LeiAnn serves on our connect team. You can also catch them serving together in the church nursery really often. 

The whole wedding was amazing — Christ-centered, joyful and beautiful. But when Jon and Ainsley started dancing at the reception, I took note of the dads around me. Some fidgeted, some looked at the floor, others got up from their seat and went for seconds, dessert, or coffee. During a father daughter dance dads will do just about anything but sit and stare squarely into what is coming for them with their own daughter one day. Not gonna lie, I cried. Didn’t help that Casey leaned over to me and said “You’ve already done this once. You’ve got 2 more to go.” 💔💀😂 My buddy Jon did great though, he was all dad business. Looked right at Ainsley, talked with her. Smiled. He made the most of the moment, for her. That’s what dads need to do! It’s not about us. Letting go is hard, but it’s also right and wonderful! And just in general Dads always need to seek to do hard things that make their daughters feel strong and full of joy. That’s our job. That’s our privilege. 

Recently I was at a mandatory training for foster parents. One of the Directors told a story about a troubled teen girl who didn’t have a dad in her life. The Director and others had stepped in to help her in every way they could. He shared that in a moment of vulnerability the teenage girl had told him “I feel like little girls are like angels without wings and it’s their daddy’s job to give them their wings. My daddy’s never gonna give me mine.” 😢 

Man… Dad’s let’s give our girls wings. Let’s raise them in the Lord, and send them out in love with confidence to do whatever God has planned for them. Let’s be good to them, knowing they’ll relate to others the way we relate to them. Let’s be careful with our words. Let’s use our time with them wisely. Let’s point them to the ultimate Father in Heaven who’ll never have to “give her away” and to the Savior who ensures she’s always CALLED, LOVED, and KEPT. Giving her wings means doing hard things to help her be strong, full of faith, full of love, and full of joy.

One more thought — you may be a young lady reading this feeling like the girl from the story without a dad to give you wings. You need to know that I heard that story in a room full of people (foster parents) committed to, by God’s grace, stepping up, and stepping in, to help you any way we can. That Director’s story about the troubled teen ended with a room full of brave, hopeful, helpful people holding up angel wings to give to that young lady at her graduation ceremony💪🏻 Teachers, youth leaders, coaches, principals, mentors, foster parents, anyone given the privilege to speak into the life of a young lady, you can be a part of giving her wings.

**also just to clarify, I know people aren’t angels. I know we don’t become angels. This was just a helpful illustration from a young lady’s limited understanding that might also be helpful to us 😊

Blessings, 

Roy

The hard reality is we’re easily replaced, but not as the parents of our kids. We’re all they’ve got. Likewise, many influntial people in our kids lives will come and go, but not parents. We’re in it for the long haul, playing the long game, for them.

Lots of people will want things FROM our kids, but parents are uniquely fitted because we always want the best FOR our kids. When It comes down to it, most parents genuinely want God for their kids. So, as parents, we teach them to obey us, because that makes obeying God a lot easier later on. We make time to talk, and to listen to them. We share our story of faith, knowing they’ll look for God to do a similar work in them. We share life, and share big truths in ways their young minds can understand it. We point them to Jesus, because we recognize that godly children are the best investment you can make in life.

Parents, no matter how important our role may be in our job or anything else, parenting our children is more important. What might be keeping you from giving your best to your kids? And is it worth the price you’re paying to keep it there?

…tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. Psalm 78:4