🌖 I wanted to point something out about the eclipse before we get too far down the road from it. The day after it happened, I heard several people, including guys on Sports Talk Radio, say they became emotional while viewing the eclipse. People said it was moving and some even shed tears. Why do you think that is? It’s because the Universe put us in awe, and for a short time we felt small, in a good way. We are small. Creation is bigger. The Creator is wayyy bigger.

In Psalm 139 David gazed at the moon and stars and basically said “Who am I that you should think of me, Lord?” He was feeling small and just expressed genuine heartfelt humility. That’s what happened to many of us last Monday with the eclipse.

Here’s the thing though, even though something as remarkable as the recent eclipse is rare, the wonders of creation are not. Sunrises, sunsets, storms, sweet little babies, and scores of other beautiful things are around us all the time, and we seldom stop and notice. Why? We’re busy, hurried, distracted, looking at little screens. And what’s the result? We don’t feel small. We feel big. We feel like we’re in control. And that’s making us happy, right? NOT 😆. It makes worried, anxious, and depressed.

God made us with a need to be small. He’s got the job of being big, and He’s great at it.

Guys, I’m not saying more eclipses are the answer to all our problems 😅 I’m saying that being in awe of God is! And you and I don’t need to wait for an eclipse or a sunset to be in awe of God. We can set our minds on the cross and just think “Who am I that you’d love me so much? But you do, Lord.” And there we are. Small. Small in the best possible way. Quieted. Peaceful. Maybe emotional. Definitely confident. Definitely thankful. A lot of stuff we are trying to gain by tryin to be big, are ours if we’ll behold the Lord and go ahead and be small.

That’s all for now. Thanks for letting me share. 🙂

Dad, give her wings! 

🥹 The father, daughter dance is one of the most beautiful moments in a wedding. But for the dads in the room it’s terrifying 😆 I took this picture from my table at Ainsley and Barron Truelock’s wedding last Sunday. Ainsley’s the daughter of longtime friends Jon and LeiAnn Stovall. Jon serves as an elder at Grace Bible and LeiAnn serves on our connect team. You can also catch them serving together in the church nursery really often. 

The whole wedding was amazing — Christ-centered, joyful and beautiful. But when Jon and Ainsley started dancing at the reception, I took note of the dads around me. Some fidgeted, some looked at the floor, others got up from their seat and went for seconds, dessert, or coffee. During a father daughter dance dads will do just about anything but sit and stare squarely into what is coming for them with their own daughter one day. Not gonna lie, I cried. Didn’t help that Casey leaned over to me and said “You’ve already done this once. You’ve got 2 more to go.” 💔💀😂 My buddy Jon did great though, he was all dad business. Looked right at Ainsley, talked with her. Smiled. He made the most of the moment, for her. That’s what dads need to do! It’s not about us. Letting go is hard, but it’s also right and wonderful! And just in general Dads always need to seek to do hard things that make their daughters feel strong and full of joy. That’s our job. That’s our privilege. 

Recently I was at a mandatory training for foster parents. One of the Directors told a story about a troubled teen girl who didn’t have a dad in her life. The Director and others had stepped in to help her in every way they could. He shared that in a moment of vulnerability the teenage girl had told him “I feel like little girls are like angels without wings and it’s their daddy’s job to give them their wings. My daddy’s never gonna give me mine.” 😢 

Man… Dad’s let’s give our girls wings. Let’s raise them in the Lord, and send them out in love with confidence to do whatever God has planned for them. Let’s be good to them, knowing they’ll relate to others the way we relate to them. Let’s be careful with our words. Let’s use our time with them wisely. Let’s point them to the ultimate Father in Heaven who’ll never have to “give her away” and to the Savior who ensures she’s always CALLED, LOVED, and KEPT. Giving her wings means doing hard things to help her be strong, full of faith, full of love, and full of joy.

One more thought — you may be a young lady reading this feeling like the girl from the story without a dad to give you wings. You need to know that I heard that story in a room full of people (foster parents) committed to, by God’s grace, stepping up, and stepping in, to help you any way we can. That Director’s story about the troubled teen ended with a room full of brave, hopeful, helpful people holding up angel wings to give to that young lady at her graduation ceremony💪🏻 Teachers, youth leaders, coaches, principals, mentors, foster parents, anyone given the privilege to speak into the life of a young lady, you can be a part of giving her wings.

**also just to clarify, I know people aren’t angels. I know we don’t become angels. This was just a helpful illustration from a young lady’s limited understanding that might also be helpful to us 😊

Blessings, 

Roy

The hard reality is we’re easily replaced, but not as the parents of our kids. We’re all they’ve got. Likewise, many influntial people in our kids lives will come and go, but not parents. We’re in it for the long haul, playing the long game, for them.

Lots of people will want things FROM our kids, but parents are uniquely fitted because we always want the best FOR our kids. When It comes down to it, most parents genuinely want God for their kids. So, as parents, we teach them to obey us, because that makes obeying God a lot easier later on. We make time to talk, and to listen to them. We share our story of faith, knowing they’ll look for God to do a similar work in them. We share life, and share big truths in ways their young minds can understand it. We point them to Jesus, because we recognize that godly children are the best investment you can make in life.

Parents, no matter how important our role may be in our job or anything else, parenting our children is more important. What might be keeping you from giving your best to your kids? And is it worth the price you’re paying to keep it there?

…tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. Psalm 78:4

Raising teenagers is not for the faint at heart! Tensions run high and teens lose their temper and sometimes say things that are hurtful and hateful. Here’s a few things to remember when that happens:

1. Your relationship with them is wayyy bigger than this one bad moment
2. Matching their anger and getting louder won’t help
3. Being a teenager is harder than it looks
4. He/she is most likely misdirecting anger about something not even related to you
5. Being disrespected is unacceptable and must be appropriately disciplined

What do we do? 🤨

🚶‍♂️Walk away. 😌 Get a clear head.

🙏🏼 Pray to God. Seek His wisdom. He has tons of experience loving and correcting disrespectful children 🙋🏻‍♂️😅

📝 Return to your teen with a clear path forward including apologies on your part (if needed), expressions of love, and loving, corrective discipline. Don’t end the conversation without saying I love you. If we don’t feel like saying it, it’s even more important that we say it. 🫂 🤝 ❤️

😗Move on and be intentional about not bringing up the incident, giving them a chance to change and not wear their mistake too long.

🙏🏼 🛌 Before bed that night, pray and thank God for the privilege of parenting. Pray for the unique challenges facing your teenager. Pray for your relationship to be closer with your teen. Pray that you be a more understanding, helpful, and wise parent. (pray all that for me too while you’re at it 😅)

Lastly, just remember none of us is getting it all right. We need the Lord. Our kids do too. All these tips are worthless without Jesus. But with Him all things are possible. ✝️

Love yall.

Back in the day I missed my friends on Christmas Break. I loved a break from school. Loved getting to visit my mom and family that I didn’t live with full time. But a few days into the break I’d start missing my high school friends. Kinda felt like I wasn’t my whole self without ‘em. No cell phones or social media back then, so between school and sports we’d basically go from spending all day every day together to zero contact over Christmas break. Ouch. What was I gonna do call my friends on the phone that was attached to the wall 😆 5 days into Christmas break and say “Hey you guys, I miss you 🤗” 😳 NO SHOT! 😅 Maybe times are different but we just didn’t say stuff like that. Heck, I’m dealing with delayed embarrassment writing any of this down as an old guy 👴🏻😂.
I wouldn’t have to wait for school to start back to see friends. We’d all end up at the same place. Either at a school sport event or at somebody’s house, a gas station parking lot, something. No real sentiments would be shared. I don’t think we hugged back then. We’d just be together, probably wearing something new we’d got for Christmas, swapping stories, insulting each other, plotting, planning, catching up. For me it was like becoming my self again. They were like family to me, more important than I realized. They gave me a taste of what I feel and enjoy now when I’m with my big’ol giant family.
Friends. Special people in our lives, especially when we’re young. Part of who we are today is because of friends we had back then.
Idk, it may have just been me or my circumstances but it seems like that kinda friendship among kids has become kinda rare. Maybe partly because of social media and almost constant contact they don’t ever get to miss each other. Not missing can kinda make you take it for granted. I did a lot of that taking for granted too.
I later learned the relationship I needed for wholeness was with Jesus. Also learned Jesus made me for relationships with others. Through him, I can need people less and actually love them more. Be a better friend. Admit I miss them. Tell them I love them. Hug. Not take them for granted. Not as much anyway. I’m still learning.

He was born in a feeding trough and died on a cross but somehow you think you’re life is to much of a mess for Jesus to enter into? He came from Heaven all the way to the earth but you think you’re too far gone? He sent an invite to dirty outcast shepherds to worship him at his birth but you think you need to clean up before you come?
The Christmas story is an invitation, to all of us. Jesus is God in human form and he wants YOU. He lived and died for you. He wants to be Savior and Lord of your life. It’s all grace. Let Him in. Surrender. Receive His forgiveness, mercy and eternal life. If the Christmas spirit isn’t the Spirit of Jesus Christ it’s worthless. Don’t let Christmas come and go and your heart be as empty as the boxes the presents came in.

Dads, it’s Christmas week! Kids are out of school and a ton of family activities coming up. We can either step it up or miss some great opportunities.

🗣️ HERE’S 6 HELPFUL REMINDERS FOR DADS DURING THE HOLIDAYS

1. Do your quiet time FIRST. Great days are made by great mornings! Get up early before everyone else and spend time in the Word and prayer. You may still have to put in a 10-12 hour workday and come home that evening to a bunch of holiday activities. Prepare your heart for a long and glorious day by meeting with our glorious God FIRST! 🥇
   📖 Psalm 63:1 David said — “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” That word earnestly is akin to the word dawn 🌅 David knew that he needed God before he faced anything else. We should too. 📱(TruthForLife.org always has great devotional stuff. Short too. And there’s a free app)
2. Don’t complain. Not even in your own head. Contrary to what our flesh tells us, griping about things doesn’t make them better. It makes them worse. Philippians 2:14 says “do all things without grumbling and complaining.” All things. All. Things. 😑
3. Be present. Put the phone and laptop away and resist the temptation to get ahead on work while most are playing (I just read your man mind didn’t I?😆) I had a friend tell me “when work is your idol, rest always feels lazy”. Ouch. Ephesians 5:16 sayd make the best use of the time, because the days are evil. See my post from a few days ago, SIX CHRISTMASES 😢
4. Be fun. Loosen up. Cut up. Play some loud music. Twirl momma in the kitchen. Crack a lame dad joke. Laugh, especially at yourself. There’s a great sense of humor somewhere in there, but your family may have forgotten 😅 Remind them. Proverbs 17:22 says “A joyful heart is good medicine…” Let’s strive to be that medicine for our families.
5. Expect and embrace some chaos 🤪Some stuff isn’t gonna make sense, don’t let it blow your logical mind. Your fam is gonna be late somewhere. You’re gonna end up taking 2 cars unnecessarily. You’re gonna have to put something together from IKEA. Just smile and embrace it. – Proverbs 14:4 says “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” This proverb means the messiness is necessary for the greatness. Think about it.
6. Point your family to Jesus. Dads, this is a slam dunk. Don’t let this season go by without reading the Christmas story with the family (Luke 2:1-20). Heck, if you don’t like reading, have them read it! Then say something simple like: “We don’t claim to have a perfect family but we serve a perfect Savior. And that’s what Christmas is all about. Jesus is the greatest gift we could ever have. Your mom and I believe that 100% and we pray that each of our kids do too.” 🎯 Jesus is the reason for this season, LET ‘EM KNOW! ✝️

💪🏼 We got this, dads! Don’t end up like Clark when he didn’t get his bonus. Be more like George Bailey at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life — grateful, joyful, and loving life and his family and friends.

📸: some crazy kids who make me wanna be a better dad every day of the year

Disclaimer: I didn’t write this because I’m the model dad. These are things I need to be reminded of as much or more than anyone.

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
6 Christmases. That’s what I realized I had left with my son at home when he was in 7th grade. I was a youth pastor at the time so I already had an idea of how quick it goes by — a kid shows up to youth group in 7th grade, nervous and excited. Next thing you know they’re driving. Then you’re praying they stay close to the Lord in college. Goes by quick. But man, when it’s your own kids zipping through those years, it hits harder.
6 Christmases. How do we go from footy pajamas and being their hero to 6 Christmases so quick? And knowing our time is short what do we do with Christmas? Wow ‘em with gifts? Good luck. Get mad? Won’t help. Be sad? It’ll just waste what little time we have. I certainly don’t have a success manual, but I know it’s got a lot to do with love. Love them with our time, hugs, truth, correction, encouragement, acceptance. Maybe make them stay home and watch a lame family Christmas movie instead of hanging out with friends. Maybe not mention their grades or sports performance for a couple days around December 25th. Worship the Lord with them, let them hear you sing. Tell some old stories about when they were little. Share a meal you know they’ll like. Kiss their momma in front of them and gross them out. Beat them in monopoly and/or dominoes. Grab their hand pray with them and tell them they’ll never get too big for that, then give a hug with an extra squeeze at the end. Relax. Laugh. Have fun. Make sure they know Jesus is everything and everything else can get in line.
Like I said I don’t have all the answers, but doing this kind of stuff will not only make the most of the Christmases we have, but maybe even bring them home for many many more even after they’re grown. Enjoy every moment, mom and dad, knowing there’s even more enjoyment to be had.

🎄Home Alone. I love this movie. The pictures above are from the last scene, “Old Man Marley” hugging his granddaughter and waiving to 8 year old Kevin, looking out his window

Earlier in the movie little Kevin had urged Mr Marley to reconcile with his family. Mr Marley took that advice and the family was reunited for Christmas.

Broken relationships need someone to take the initiative to be mended. At Christmas we remember that God took the initiative, coming as a baby, wrapped in clothes, lying in a manger, so we could have a relationship with Him.

One way we can be like Jesus this Christmas is to be quick to make things right with others. Be the first to reach out. The first to apologize. The first to forgive.

JoyToTheWorld #LookUp

The character of Joseph in the Christmas story isn’t talked about much, and rightfully so. Faithful servants like he and Mary knew who the main character of the story was 👶 But if we look close, Joseph’s a great picture of godly man. The Bible says he was a “just man.” Not sure there’s a better thing to be said of a man. He was a man a few words. He let his actions speak for themselves. He lived a rugged life, working as a carpenter, he was what many would refer to as “a man’s man.”
Before the angel of the Lord had said anything to Joseph, and it looked like Mary had been unfaithful, Joseph had decided to keep it quiet and not bring any shame on her. I believe that’s because he loved her. Just because someone hurts you doesn’t mean you can’t want good for them. That’s part of that whole “just man” thing. He was willing to absorb more hurt so that she could absorb less. We need more men like Joseph. I need to be more like Joseph. More like Jesus.
Then, when the Angel told Joseph the insider info that the baby was from the Holy Spirit, and that he needed to keep his commitments to Mary, and name the baby “Jesus” (which means Savior), like a lot of stepdads, foster, and adoptive dads I know, he stepped into that responsibility with both feet. Joseph was obedient. Joseph wasn’t cloudy where God was clear. He wanted to do right by God and right by Mary and baby Jesus, regardless of how it reflected on him.
Getting to name the savior of the world was a pretty early reward for faithful obedience. Guarantee you he never regretted being obedient to God. We won’t either.
Joseph also proved to be a faithful protector. When the angel spoke to him again and told him the psycho, narcissistic Herod was trying to kill Jesus, Joseph up and moved his little family to Egypt. It was a foreign place for him and uncomfortable in many ways for all of them, but he wasn’t primarily concerned with familiarity and comfort. He was concerned being faithful to God and protecting his family.
A man ought to seek to protect his family from all kinds of threats. Physical, moral, emotional, theological, and many other threats. I know lots of guys who have left behind what they’ve worked hard to build, and moved their wife and kids to a new, unfamiliar place for the betterment of their family. I respect that. It’s Joseph-like. It’s Christlike. And as men we need to keep that mindset. Our world, our flesh and the devil tell men, you need to live for YOU. Make it more comfortable for YOU. Acquire wealth for YOU. But the real adventure for a man is found in giving, sacrificing, and protecting.
Every year at Christmas we get a fresh reminder of the truth that Jesus taught “It’s better to give than to recieve.” Joseph knew that truth and got to experience it. We can too.
Imagine if Joseph had chosen a different path, a path with less responsibility and more “freedom.” ….Nah. No way. Give me Joseph. Give me Jesus.
✍️ Roy Layman