This weekend I’m doing something I’ve never done before–officiating 2 weddings in less than 24 hours! Hope I don’t get their names confused! Ha! For real, it will be fun. Weddings are always a joy to be a part of. Even more than the ceremony itself, I enjoy getting to meet with couple’s before their wedding. In some cases, like the two couples I’m marrying this weekend, my wife and I get to do a good amount of premarital counseling. Now, as you married folks know, there’s no amount of premarital counseling that can adequately prepare you for all of the challenges and joys of marriage. Every relationship is unique and needs God’s wisdom and grace in unique ways. BUT, there are some things that can be very helpful to know going in to marriage. I’m not sure where we picked them up, but over the years my wife and I have settles on 5 topics, or “marriage killers” that we like address with couples before they marry. We talk about the challenges of each topic, and then offer biblical wisdom, resources, and counsel for each one.
Here’s our list of “5 marriage killers”:
- (dealing with unmet) Expectations
- Sex and Romance
And just to be clear, these challenges are not exclusive to newlyweds! Doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 5 days or 5 decades these “marriage killers” tend to represent the source of a lot of problems in marriage.
Also, we strongly recommend that couples read The Meaning of Marriage By Tim and Kathy Keller. It’s been VERY helpful to us, and all of these 5 mk’s get addressed in the book some level.
Not much of a reader? Check out this audio message from Tim and Kathy Keller, Cultivating A Healthy Marriage. This is one hour and fifteen minutes of pure marriage wisdom gold. My wife and I recently had a long road trip back from Missouri and made use of this audio during our drive-time together. We found it useful to listen for a while, pause the audio, and discuss how the teaching could be applied to our marriage, then restart. We listened to the entire thing–VERY helpful.
By God’s grace Casey and I celebrated 18 years of marriage last month. I still have a ton to learn when it comes to marriage. Ask my wife she’ll tell you 🙂 2nd only to my relationship with God is my relationship with her. We have a unique opportunity and responsibility to represent the love of Jesus Christ in our marriage (Eph 5:22-33), why wouldn’t we spend time working on improving it???
What about your marriage? Is there a particular area of your marriage that needs work? Looking at the 5 marriage killers above, is there one that stands out that God would have you pray and seek His wisdom and power for? Time spent improving your marriage is ALWAYS time well spent.
Here’s a couple more resources you might be interested in:
Dr. James Dobson’s 12 Marriage Killers
The Mingling of Souls, by Matt Chandler, FREE on Christian Audio this month.
Maximum Marriage sermon series by Tommy Nelson at Denton Bible Church